capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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