I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
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Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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