Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
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I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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