i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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