whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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