So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
