my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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