Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
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When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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