my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize