Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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