its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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