I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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