What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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