New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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