You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
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thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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