You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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