I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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