I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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