just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize