Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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