You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it was like having sex with a tree stump
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can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
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Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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