Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize