i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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