you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize