So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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