I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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