she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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