so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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