Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize