We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
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the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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