can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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