I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
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when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
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We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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