I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
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Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
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We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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