If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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