My first STD was from a foam party
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize