No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize