Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
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I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
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i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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