shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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