i jhust puked up my retainher.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
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And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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