Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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