im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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