I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize