sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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