the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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