remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize