uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize