He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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they're like a gay fantastic four
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
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After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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