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• (310): View more from California

  Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  when i was alone, his dick was there for me...

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (391): View more from

  She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.

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