i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize