I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
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