Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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