I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize