we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i think we sleep fucked last night...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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