Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

I just got invited to go home with a married couple...

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(352): I just got invited to go home with a married couple... http://tfl.nu/0i8n

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(256): View more from Alabama

A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality

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(256): A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality http://tfl.nu/65cw

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(541): View more from Oregon

You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.

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(541): You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were. http://tfl.nu/i5vx

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.

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(201): He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me. http://tfl.nu/n6mr

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(662): View more from Mississippi

looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme

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(662): looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme http://tfl.nu/w8jn

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(419): View more from Ohio

I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar

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(419): I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar http://tfl.nu/rxog

Replies (10) Good night (886) Bad night (3838) Order T-Shirt
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(713): View more from Texas

I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.

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(713): I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups. http://tfl.nu/3y6t

Replies (16) Good night (3709) Bad night (1035)
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(281): View more from Texas

I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.

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(281): I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked. http://tfl.nu/jbhc

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.

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(724): Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend. http://tfl.nu/1fim

Replies (4) Good night (3549) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.

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(732): i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up. http://tfl.nu/3kb7

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(732): View more from New Jersey

WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?

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(732): WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"? http://tfl.nu/186c

Replies (4) Good night (1506) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

French fry pizza

(502): View more from Kentucky

Are you brilliant or just really high?

(330): View more from Ohio

Can't it be both?

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(330): French fry pizza (502): Are you brilliant or just really high? (330): Can't it be both? http://tfl.nu/8jk8

Replies (8) Good night (3234) Bad night (605)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.

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(614): Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast? (1-614): Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry. http://tfl.nu/0ygg

Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (1049)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.

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(908): I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game. http://tfl.nu/k79m

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey

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(787): I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey http://tfl.nu/3kl5

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